(Source: endless-unfolding)
2018 was the year of increased introspection - especially the last few months. i observed myself - watched myself like a hawk - tried to make note of my subconscious reactions to challenging/different situations. i realized that summers pass by in a numb haze, whereas winters are suffocating with a visceral depression that seems to suddenly emerge from summer’s heated depths. i realized that i’m more numb when i stop drinking and that that’s not necessarily a bad thing because even though i can feel … something … more when i drink, the lows of depression become treacherously lower - too close to the brink of suicide. taking all this into account, the best course of action for the coming years, if i can stick to it, is to not drink and throw myself mindlessly into work. not just work career-wise but work as in anything - working out, house chores, learning a new dance, learning a new song on the guitar… in order to not think, i need to keep myself constantly busy. if i don’t think, i don’t exist, and so the desire to not exist doesn’t exist.
a gentle reminder that you did well this year. you met new people, learned new things and felt new feelings. you did so many things that made you scared. you picked yourself up off the floor after feeling completely defeated or heartbroken. there were some really tough nights but you survived them all. you made people happy just by existing. you accepted many goodbyes but the serendipitous meetings made up for them. it was your own hard work that paid off but you always downplay it or compare yourself to others. that’s not fair on yourself. you’ve come so far from the first day of this year. you have more wisdom and strength now. yes, other people seem more “successful” but does that even matter? please don’t think so lowly of yourself to only think about your failures. 2018 was your year of growth. I hope you take a moment to be kind to yourself, and believe that 2019 will be even better.
its the last day of 2018 so i’m gonna say it: what the fuck was that
4.
Have you forgiven yourself for it, the fuck-ups, the constant undoing and redoing? Have you accepted that you will always lose something, and when that happens, the question to ask is: and what have I gained?
5.
Last year you said: Be good, forgive, exist. The year before that: I think maybe it’s time to be found. The year before that: You’re not alone. The year before that: It takes courage to live.
Do you hear it, all the echoes of your past selves trying to tell you that you are loved? The unknown yawns before us, and yes, maybe we’ll fuck it up. And maybe we won’t.
6.
Happy birthday, old fool.
(Source: thebombdisposal)
Velimir Khlebnikov, from Collected Poems & Selected Writings; “Everland,”
zjoy:
Castle In The Sky (1986)
Grave of the Fireflies (1988)
My Neighbor Totoro (1988)
Kiki’s Delivery Service (1989)
Only Yesterday (1991)
Porco Rosso (1992)
Pom Poko (1994)
Whisper of the Heart (1995)
Princess Mononoke (1997)
My Neighbors the Yamadas (1999)
Spirited Away (2001)
The Cat Returns (2002)
Howl’s Moving Castle (2004)
Tales from Earthsea (2006)
Ponyo On A Cliff From The Sea (2008)
The Secret World of Arrietty/The Borrower Arrietty (2010)
From Up on Poppy Hill (2011)If any of the links stop working, please let me know so I can fix it.
For Castle In The Sky, wait for the free user button to be clickable and it will send you to the video.
how do I not share this, though (HIGHLY RECOMMENDING HOWL’S MOVING CASTLE IT’S MY FAVORITE)
Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind (1984)
The Tale of the Princess Kaguya (2013)
The Wind Rises (2013)These are so good if you need something to calm you down on a bad day or after panics :)
(Source: sexualassbutts)
Sir that’s my emotional support unrealistic romantic daydream
